Just like many many recent mornings, I was woken up by a soft ‘Hiya! Hiya!’ coming from L’s bedroom. I should record this and use it as my alarm for when she launches into those teenage years and doesn’t want to emerge until noon. Although, I can’t imagine her being a late riser. Ever. She’s too much like me.
Work has been going incredibly well. So well, in fact, that it’s causing me to be filled with fizzing, bubbling excitement. It’s good to be back. Edinburgh, sorry baby, I shouldn’t have left ya. Well, in many ways I’m thankful I did for those wonderful connections I made in Berwick, but I feel that this place is my true north. My compass points to this beautiful, rain-soaked city.
Work is going well because a shop that stocks my work has opened up a new premises and the locals seem to like what they see. To be honest, it’s possibly the best month I’ve ever had. Jesus. Why don’t I go on about it some more?! Dear reader, this will all flip around and turn into a different story mid-winter. I will be wracked with despair when I see almost nothing trickle into my bank account. The highs and lows of this job. Yet, I prefer nothing else.
L and I have had the good fortune to reconnect with friends and to make new ones. My current life line is the song circle we attend. And the fortune came when I unknowingly nestled us into a corner of two other single, creative mothers. It does matter. Making these connections. I know my story isn’t original; hearing how others are making it work is very uplifting. Or hearing about the struggles that sound like my own.
At the end of all this (All what? Life?!) I want L to have a good life. A great life. A life filled with magic and adventure and the pretty stuff of Wes Anderson’s movies, but without the underlying melancholy and tragedy. I want her life to be defined by possibilities and not by the fact that the beginning was not as ideal as it could have been.