Today I bought running shoes. It’s a big step, or rather, a series of steps that will provide the meditative, heart pounding, endorphin producing experience I need. This is possibly all part of a resolve to leave my excuses behind and get involved. Involved in what? Life and the physical and psychological act of being me.
My brain is skipping around with a handful of plans and I’ve contacted the necessary people to come along for the ride and help make them happen.
I’ve got another idea for an exhibition and the current one doesn’t even end until early November. There are still pieces to make for this but in the meantime I’ve been practicing a new technique for the new thing.
When these phases happen, I welcome them with thankful outstretched arms. This kind of shit makes me feel alive. Everything is firing, zing zing zing, and I love it.
I can’t even put my finger on one specific thing that has happened, or is happening, to influence it all. Lately I’ve seen some thought-provoking art/shows thanks to the fringe and the festival rolling into town. The Inevitable Heartbreak of Gavin Plimsole got to me with their ending message of ‘look at all these hearts. They’ve all been broken yet they’re still working.’ (We were all attached with heart monitors, 70 meters displayed on a shed on a stage). Mine has certainly been pummelled with a meat mallet beyond recognition, yet here I am again filled with interest and wonder. How can that be?
Side note: Resolve to take up running came off the back of seeing that my resting heart rate was on the high end of the scale. So thank you, twice.
I’ll miss this phase when it moves onto the next part of the cycle but even that part is essential and fun. The work phase. The get down and do it phase. The get out now and run phase. The get your materials out and make stuff phase.
And after that phase the bottom will drop out and there will be no work and possibly a lapse with running. I’ll start eating badly, neglect myself, become weary and then after I’ve scraped along enough, the fire will return.
It’s like this every time.
You can’t live on that high all the time.
Stasis is necessary.